Here’s a list of things I’ll never understand about Melbourne, Australia (a list of observations and annoyances I’ve encountered while living here):

  • their obsession with high-waisted jeans/shorts
  • their obsession with flouro-tees. Or rather, flouro-anything
  • why some people wear those bland, large-type T-shirts (mostly with stupid “witty” sayings)
  • how they manage to keep their TV stations so boring
  • why in the world their internet is so bad — everywhere — despite being a First World country
  • why it costs significantly extra to ask for ketchup/mustard, or any sort of condiment package
  • their obsession with ‘Australian-made’ goods
  • why it’s so hard to find fabric-softener dryer sheets instead of liquid
  • why renting DVD’s are so cheap, but buying them costs an arm and a leg
  • why they love their motorcycles so much
  • why the second-floor of a building is button “1″ in the elevators
  • why I can’t just order a “regular coffee” (the barista will look at you like you’re crazy..and then will still insist that no such thing exists
  • why all electronic-related devices are marked up nearly a gajillion percent to their US equivalents (this is taken into account even after the currency conversion)
  • why the trams suck so much
  • why they make their police officers wear those silly looking hats… (hahaha)
  • why they make their court judges wear those silly looking white hair pieces (even when they go outside to lunch!!!)
  • why the radio here plays mostly American music
  • why the news anchors are so uninteresting and especially awkward towards each other while on camera (what happened to the idea of news as a form of entertainment?)
  • that “.au” part of web addresses gets me all the time…

So, 5 months in and that’s my list so far. Don’t get me wrong though, there are lots of things I love about Australia, but listing these things was more fun — especially since I encounter each one just about every day.