I was just browsing the SMART Crew online store (kinda odd, but whatever) and I saw these MTA safety vests for $79. It’s a high crime to impersonate MTA transit personnel, but gosh, I couldn’t help but think that these vests would definitely get me into some restricted places a bit easier (or at least allow me to be somewhere restricted to the public without having to worry about the public going all terrorist-crazy on me).

The bad news? They’re sold out.