Today was a pretty crappy day. This morning around 4:30AM, I put Tygra and Pepper into a kennel and brought them to the North Central animal shelter in LA. They were surrendered. A perfect storm of events led me to this decision which I did not take lightly. In fact, it’s hard for me to think of a comparable event in my life where I felt as horrible as I do right now. This is no doubt the hardest decision I’ve had to make in my life so far.

Just over a year ago, I moved to Los Angeles from NYC and soon after I moved in my apartment, I adopted 2 cats from a friend of a friend who needed to part from them. Growing up, I’ve always been surrounded by family pets (both cats and dogs) and I knew that I’d be fully capable of handling 2 cats. I looked forward to it because 1) I like cats; and 2) I really like cats. The adoption was painless and soon enough, Pepper and Tygra were both calling my apartment home. It was nice to see them every day, chasing each other around the room, keeping each other warm during the winter, and licking each other clean at night. They were easy roommates — I just had to make sure they had water and food and clean litter, and the rest of the time I benefited from awesome cat time on my desk during the day and two warm bodies at the foot of my bed at night. I couldn’t have asked for more really.

It sounds weird, but they were two of the most important things about my time here in LA. They were my best friends and this made it so hard for me to figure out what to do with them when suddenly I found myself having to move back to NYC earlier than anticipated. For a while I actually thought of bringing them over to NY. I mean, after all, they were sort of like family. I grew so close to them and when nearly 2 months of looking for somebody to adopt them fell through, I regretfully had to surrender them to the animal shelter. It broke my heart like nothing else.

It’s been about 15 hours now since I last saw Pepper and Tygra and I can’t help but wonder if they’re ok. There’s a pain unlike anything I’ve ever felt in my chest thinking about how scared they must be and how they might be wondering why I brought them to such a strange place so early in the morning. I wish so badly that I could just pick them up and reverse it all.

I’ll always remember Pepper for:

  • Being fat and funny
  • Looking royal while sitting with her front feet tucked in
  • Flopping onto her side whenever I started petting her while she was walking around
  • Her heart-shape eyebrow marking
  • The way she slept at my feet almost every night.
  • Her love of cardboard boxes

I’ll always remember Tygra for:

  • Her curious personality
  • Her super-high jumps
  • The way she would wake me up in the morning by running around like a cheetah in my room
  • Her neck cuddles
  • Her licks
  • Her love of laying on my chest when I went to bed
  • How she would sit in front of my computer when I was doing work

I cannot believe they’re both gone. I’ll never forget them.

The song below is sort of helping me cope with their sudden absence. It’s taken from the last episode of The Office.